He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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