What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
