I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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