I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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