he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
