So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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