hell yes lets make some ravioli
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
