dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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