Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
