Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
