T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
