Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
