Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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