I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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