their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
