I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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