sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
