3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
