Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize