Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize