Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
