That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
