i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize