Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just found puke in my bra..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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