But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
