Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
