I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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