News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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