If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
