Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize