Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
