What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
