Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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