Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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