why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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