Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just found puke in my bra..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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