It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it because I queefed?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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