just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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