I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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