talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No subtext here. People are naked.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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