Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
