White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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