Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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