i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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