Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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