If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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