Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
