just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
