hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
