Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize