i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
