I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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