I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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