Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
