I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize