literally had 100 drinks last night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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