overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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