Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
