Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize