We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am naked and annoyed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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