why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
