id be glad to
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
