he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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