but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
