youre lurking in front of me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
