New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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