I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
