Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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