If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Your dad touched me again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
