I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
