This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
